Diary of a Psycho Therapist

Dedication

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”
-Buddha

Dedication is a complete and wholehearted fidelity. The act of binding oneself emotionally, physically and spiritually to a course of action and seeing it through. To be dedicated is to be focused and committed to a cause, a goal or a purpose.

We are often dedicated to the basic components of relationships, work and personal goals. Working for the sake of working without dedication will not always serve a purpose. The result can lead to exhaustion and low morale. A dedication to work can generate a real sense of achievement, no matter what the task is. A person who is dedicated puts a little extra effort into what they do. Their work does not feel like a chore but a passion. I recently heard an interview with the pop artist Rihanna, who explained her absence from the music charts. She told her interviewer that making music was ‘beginning to feel like a chore,’ and that she was taking a break to rekindle that passion for what she does so well, before rededicating herself to making music.

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Unlike Rihanna, I have stayed in jobs that have been a means to an end -- to simply put food on the table. Sometimes I liked the work and not the people, and sometimes it was the other way around.  I continued in these unfulfilling roles in order to provide stability for my family. Giving my family a stable home was what motivated me. I want to say that I waited in those jobs until I reached a place where the stars aligned, where I felt my work and myself were finally at one, because with habituation, we might learn to love the things we hate. But this was not the case. I had to leave, to move on to roles that I could finally dedicate myself to. Today, I have the privilege of meeting new people in my current role, which I’m wholeheartedly committed and dedicated to. It feels like a dream at times to be doing the thing I love, and to be paid for it. If I hadn’t stretched myself beyond an existential existence – beyond the feeling that I was only good enough for the jobs I was doing, then I wouldn’t have allowed myself to grow and to thrive beyond the OK.

Sometimes a simple change in mindset or outlook can support our search for more along a necessary path. A fulfilling role is the bedrock of our desire - a want to be happy and to find fulfilment and dedication in what we do. Dedication should be applied to relationships as well. Devoting time to our family and friends by investing the effort it takes to value one another. To do things together, to listen more and to complain less can transform the way we interact with the people who mean the most to us.

Similarly, dedicating ourselves to personal growth and to social commitments is tied to a need to belong in the world. If we dedicate ourselves to others in the hope of finding acceptance and belonging, it does not guarantee that they will do the same for us. We can only do what we feel will bring us the most joy in life. I have dedicated myself to friendships that have not survived and relationships that did not serve my worth or purpose. My strength was in knowing I had given my authentic self to others with integrity and truth. This is what makes us stronger – knowing we’ve done our best. It was the poet Alfred Tennyson who said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I will say the same to you now, that it is better to have dedicated yourself and lost, than never to have known what it’s like to devote yourself at all.

Going forwards, set clear goals that matter, and work towards them daily. Whether it’s painting that wall you’ve been putting off for some time now or creating that dynamic presentation at work. Remember, with dedication we can do anything. This sense of purpose provides direction and creates a fresh layer of self-will. We can follow this roadmap towards a more accomplished and fruitful life. Each time we fail, we can realign, reset and be even more dedicated, because failure, at times, leads to excellence. In the wise words of Driessen, "do all things (this week) with love, passion and dedication!"

Strive and shine.

-Tara.